Lightning Storm!

The other night was crazy… there was a lightning storm that you could see all over the county… it was beautiful all the while looking dangerous and foreboding. I tried getting a photo of it all but the best I could get was a really bad photo…

Anyway… right now. I’m homeless… I’m still going to school and working two part time jobs… so I’m just basically going crazy. But the other night when I saw the lightning… it made it cool to go and lay down in my makeshift bed in my car and just look at the dark cloudy sky getting lit up by these streaks of gold white…. While it’s really hard… and also humbling to be homeless… there’s a tiny feeling of adventure. Never knowing where I’m going to park so I can sleep that night, waking up almost every half hour to make sure there’s not a ticket on my window, feeling the warm touch of the rising sun and then getting into the drivers seat to go to school (super early…study time, right?).

There’s a duo personality about it all… feeling adventurous most of the time… but then feeling defeated and embarrassed. What do you tell people when they ask where you’re living… or when they ask you if they can come over… sometimes I just feel defeated.

BUT! That’s not going to break me… yes, it sucks to have to lie to people about where I’m staying… but this is just a chapter in my story book life. JUST A CHAPTER! I tell myself that all the time… I have to. I will make it through this and I will figure out a way to make everything work. I’ve dealt with hardships my whole life… this is just another chapter that I found in the extended edition of my book, I suppose.

This is teaching me so much about saving… about where to park if I’m ever traveling and need to stay somewhere overnight without spending too much… and most of all… I’m learning what I’m made of… yes it’s hard but I can rise above all of this and I CAN turn this around for good. I can and I will. I just need a little bit more time.

That lightning storm the other night was by far the most beautiful night I’ve fallen asleep to as of yet… even though it started out as a dark and cloudy night it turned into something so beautiful… that is going to be my life! My entire life has been so dark… but soon my own lightning will come and it will light up my own clouds.

-pseudonym